Lemar And Dauley®

Topping the charts this time is 50 Cent due to a very ironic request contained within his rider. Although fish and chicken are fine for the pugnacious punchline rapper, “There is to be no beef …in the vicinity of 50 Cents dressing or catering rooms.” No beef in his venue??? We guess he prefers that it stay with Fat Joe, Ja Rule, Cam'ron, Kanye and Lil' Wayne where it belongs … Fankyouverymuch.

The Jiggaman's rider might be without irony, but it comes in at #2 because it is also without sympathy. While performing for Arizona University (NOT Madison Square Garden, but a college) that had already given him $750,000 for the event, the Jiggaman requested: “a late-model black Maybach”.

Mariah ain't get that Diva nickname from just nowhere. The chantuese requests via her rider “One special attendant to dispose of used chewing gum”. And that's besides the cristal, puppies and kittens.

The artist formerly known as demanding might be known for putting on one heck of a stage show, but apparently he's concerned he might cause harm to himself or those around him. That's the only excuse we can come up with for his rider asking for “A physician”, and he wants all items in his dressing room to be covered with clear plastic wrap that only he can remove.

Marilyn Manson is one weird dude but even we were surprised by his rider in which the rocker requests “A bald hooker with no teeth”. But what does the hooker do better without teeth??? Awww nevermind.

J. Lo may have put her Ben Affleck days behind her, but her rider is keeping it white. Her rider asks for “White flowers, White tablecloths, White curtains, White diptych candles, White couches and lowwatt lightbulbs”. Oh and she wants her coffee “stirred counter-clockwise”. How could she tell anyway???

Iggy Pop is just a very weird little man with a weird little rider to match. His demands are “No toy robots, television evangelists … No plastic seahorses, no bailiwicks, crepescules (sic) or kooks.” I'm itching to find out what inspired the plastic seahorse and why he believes them to be so prevelant that he has to make sure none are around him.

And you guys thought Van Halen's infamous “No brown M&M's” rider was crazy. These stars are making promoters stop, drop and completely open up shop. Well, that's how rough riders roll.

- Pieces

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's … Mary Poppins poppin' out the dumpster at the back of the Crown fried Chicken. Imogen Heap sure looked like a heap of something in this 2007 Grammy get-up.

Lil' Kim's left tata put her on the National stage and made her a household name after she rocked this look to the 1999 VMA's.

The group OK GO came to the 2007 Grammys looking like they shouted OK GO at an upholstery store while they were covered in glue.

M.I.A. wore a cute little ladybug number that proved a baby can even be daring in Utero at the 2009 Grammys.

Busta Rhymes was the envy of every starlet at the 1999 VMA's in his dainty halter top.

Kanye West proved that he was simply the chest at the 2006 Grammys in his low-cut blouse and Mickey Mouse gloves.

Gwen McGowan was assed-out at the 1998 VMA's alongside her dragged-out boyfriend at the time, Marilyn manson.

These were just some of our favorite Get-num-fits ©, which according to our friend Corinne is not quite a “get-up”, not quite a “number” and not quite an “outfit” but a little bit of everything. We look forward to many more years of daring awards show fashion.

B.I.G.: “I hope you're listening/ slapping babies at their christening.” 

L&D: But Big, the babies are just tryna get on the right track. How they got dragged in the beef??

Jay-Z: “And then we comin' where your wake at/ Eight maniac cats strapped with gats.” 

L&D: But Jay, the man is obviously already dead. Why do you need an entire team of armed men at the funeral???

Cassidy: “Drag you down the steps, heat to your ribs/ choke each your seeds with the sheets from their beds.”

L&D: But Cassidy, you're already going to kill my kids in front of me, why use their sheets??? Why make Dora explore homicide???

Cam'ron: “My mother found my crack platter/ threw it away so I snapped at her/ back slapped her.”

L&D: But Cam, your mother was just trying to be a mother. Did you really have to pimp smack her???

Fabolous: “I was O.T. at 12/ Given a half at 6, an oz at 12/ Ain't nobody come near the minor/ that was runnin' spots in both North and South Carolina”

L&D: But Fab, it's enough to fabricate drug kingpin status as an adult. Do you really expect us to believe you were the cross-country Noreiga of the Pre-schools too???

Prodigy of Mobb Deep: “I throw a TV at you crazy/ B****es be like P you crazy”

L&D: But Prodigy, we understand you're not feeling somebody. Isn't throwing electronics still a bit excessive???

G-Dep: “Bang this in ya stereo/ MC's is dead and Imma get head up at they burial”

L&D: But G. Dep, it's enough to attend the funeral of someone you obviously don't care for. Must you really get fellatio in front of the choir???

These are the lyrics we just found to be so gangster it was humorous. If you have any others, put us on and we'll include them in our next list.

- Pieces

At #1 is the N-O … T-O … R-I … O … U-S, you just … see where we're going with this. One of his preferred monikers, Frank White, was from the 1990 gangster flick, The King of New York and boy does that fit.

Coming in at #2 is none other than the “Boss” himself, Ricky Ross. He pulled his name from the L.A. drug trafficker whose “Drug Empire” of the 80's changed the drug game forever.

Nasty Nas a.k.a. Nastradamous a.k.a. It's cheaper to Keep her a.k.a. Nas Escobar comes in at #3 for that last title which was taken from Drug kingpin Pablo Escobar.

At #4 is someone you may not have expected to see on this countdown, Charli Baltimore. Biggie gave her the name which was based on Geena Davis character in the Gangster film The long kiss goodnight.

The #5 spot is held by a two-man group who both took their names from famous gangsters. Capone was obviously taken from the mafia made man Al Capone and Noreaga was taken from Panamanian drug legend Manuel Noriega. With all this gangster between them, the twosome probably should've taken the top spot, but hey … “That Brooklyn Bull-ish, we on it”!!!

Holding it down for the west coast at #6 is Daz Dillinger whose name represents one of the most famous bank robbers in history, John Dillinger.

And speaking of bank robbers, the two who call themselves Bonnie and Clyde, who are more commonly known as Jay-Z and Beyonce round out the Top 7 at #7. If we missed any of your favorites, send us a note and we may include them next time.

- Pieces

Chris Brown was the heir apparent to the MJ throne amongst the new jacks. We think the “Wall to wall” singer would've killed “Thriller”. 

Justin credits Michael as one of his icons. I would have liked to see him perform either something like “Rock with you” or “She's out of my life”.

Usher's versatility would've allowed him his pick of MJ classics. I would've liked to see his take on “Man in the mirror” or “Don't stop til you get enough”. 

Pharrell would've done a great job with “Bad” or even “Remember the Time” in our opinion.

Anyone who's seen You got Served knows that Omarion can dance. An up tempo MJ cut like “Pretty Young Thing” or “The way you make me feel” would've been dope.

And couldn't Alien Ant Farm come out and do Smooth Criminal for old time's sake???

We've been discussing who the real innovators left now in the game were and Kanye's name has come up more than any as the person who we feel our future kids could get into from our generation. He would've done a great job with “Beat it” or “Want to be starting something”.

So there you have our list (in no particular order). We understand that BET only had 3 days in which to reformat their entire show, but had they just a little longer, we believe these would be the performances setting Tivo, Youtube and blogs ablaze.

- Pieces